Diana's Diary

2001-05-05 - 9:26 p.m.

Duh-rama

My theory is that there are some people out there who just can't stand it if they don't have some sort of drama going on in their lives. Put several of those people together, and it's just...tiresome.

I've mentioned the whole JB-Mil-Willow triangle before, in my first couple of entries. It's so stupid. JB would just like to forget the whole thing. Willow is obsessing. And who knows what Mil is thinking. But Willow has decided to bring the whole thing up again.

This afternoon, Willow IM's me, telling me that she's worried about JB, because she thinks JB is mad at her about something. Keep in mind, this is all Willow tells me. She doesn't tell me what brought this on. Since all of this drama started over 9 months ago, and it hasn't been mentioned in a couple of months, I wondered if something was really wrong. Then JB signs on, and after a couple of minutes IM's "Oh shit, that just opened a whole can of worms with Wil. Sign off, I'm going to call you."

Apparently on Wednesday night, Willow went out with Mil. JB didn't really care, except that she overheard Willow on the phone to Mil, and she says it was very obvious that they were talking about her. (I maintain that one of the major reasons Mil and JB aren't friends anymore is that Willow kept telling them that the other one was saying things that they hadn't said.) JB has told Willow that she would prefer than Mil not come over to their apartment when she (JB) is home. She also told Willow that she (Willow) is an adult and has to make her own decisions about things like this. I guess Mil was pressuring Willow to ask JB to lift the anti-Mil ban on the apartment. (JB: "It's her apartment, too. I'm only stating my preference, Willow can do whatever she wants.") Willow hasn't asked JB if Mil can come over yet. Willow does not mention Mil in front of JB at all. Whenever they go out, she tells JB that she is going out with "her friend," like JB is too stupid to figure out who she means.

The bottom line is that Willow feels guilty. Ever since Wednesday, she's been asking JB if she's mad at her. To make things worse, JB hasn't been home much in the last few days, and when she has been home, she's been tired. (JB injured her leg in her kick-boxing class and hasn't been sleeping well.) So Willow's obsessive "Are you mad at me?" schtick is wearing on JB. JB is not mad at Willow. Willow probably doesn't even know for sure that JB knows that it was Mil she went out with on Wednesday. And this has been doing on since last July. Why would JB suddenly decide to get mad about it again now?

Answer? Say it with me: "JB is not mad at Willow." JB's annoyed that Willow keeps bringing it up again, when she'd just like to forget about it, but she's not mad. JB's frustrated that Willow won't take responsibility for her own actions, and seems to want to use JB a scapegoat to explain all of her own relationship problems with Mil. But she's not mad.

Willow wants to make everything between Mil and JB be about Willow. Which is retarded, because Willow didn't even meet Mil until almost 2 years after JB and Mil broke up and decided to be just friends. Mil and JB have a lot of issues that have nothing to do with Willow, and it seems like Willow is unable to grasp that.

And then Willow vents to me about it, in general terms, like I'm gonna take her side? (Not just today, for the last 9 months.) Mil and I tried to maintain a friendship of sorts; I told him that we're adults, and just because he and JB aren't friends anymore, there's no reason why there should be animosity between him and me. Turns out I was wrong on that one, because every e-mail I get from Mil mentions JB in some way. A couple of years ago, JB and I made a web page for Mil. He checked it a while ago, and e-mailed me, "I'm surprised it's still up, since JB hates me." Gah! JB doesn't hate him...she just doesn't want to be his friend anymore. How am I supposed to respond to that? I don't want to be put in the middle. But...JB and I are a hell of a lot closer than Mil and I are...I am more inclined to take her side...but what is the point in even bringing it up with me?

All three of them just need to get the hell over it. Life would probably be a lot easier if JB would tell Willow that it's okay if Mil comes over to their apartment when she's home. But JB refuses to do that, because she wants Willow to actually take responsibilty for her relationship with Mil. The unintended consequence of this is that it makes JB look like the "bad guy," and gives Willow an excuse to blame JB when things with Mil are strained for other reasons.

Sigh. They need some new drama, because all of this old stuff is just so tired. If I'm tired of listening to them all bitch about it, then I'm sure they're all tired of living it.

So let's all move on then, mmmkay?

-Diana

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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