Diana's Diary

2001-01-18 - 03:11:06

Ramble on, little Di

Oh, the joy. Wait. Not. I'm tired of school. I am homesick. How stupid is that? I've been in school for three and a half years now, and I'm still freaking homesick. So I want to go home, but then I know that I'd just have to come back down here. I don't want to be in school anymore. I'd just quit, except (1) I'm not a quitter, (2) I've only got 6 more months until I'm FREE FREE FREE anyway, so it would be retarded of me to quit now, and (3) I've got this damn lease on the apartment, and managment doesn't allow sub-letting.

I just HATE BEING HERE. (My, I'm having fun with the caps tonight, am I not?) It's getting worse, too. I've got these stupid worries in the back of my mind, which makes getting any peace at all nearly impossible. If I was done with school, I'd just leave, go back to the Bay Area, and work. Not being in school, I would have TIME to work, and I wouldn't have to worry about being able to take time off during school vacations to go back to the Bay Area because not only would I already BE in the Bay Area, I wouldn't have school vacations anymore!!! (Forgive the run-on sentence, if you please. I'm an English major, and yes, I DO know better, but I am ranting, and in a rant, grammar need not apply. Nyah. So there.) Anyway, as I was saying. If I was back home, I wouldn't be worrying so much, or so I tell myself. It's seriously fucking with me right now, because I can't even do anything without having something gnawing at the back of my mind.

Feeling isolated, too. I haven't talked to Orange in a month now. I assume he's back here at school, we just haven't called each other or anything. Not that he's going to ease my mind any, but he's usually fun to be around, and he's another person. Plus, JingleBelle is still in England, so no phone buddy for me, either. Not that things with JB aren't weird (at least, they are from my POV), but she's another link to home. I've been trading e-mails fast and furious with Soshe (lucky freak is still on winter break), but with her, it's like, we both get into these existential snits and spend far too much time being deep. She has been very nice and listened to me bitch about JB and Ex in England, though. It's just...I want to go do something FUN, and while I cherish the fact that Soshe and I are still so close, well...she makes me think too much sometimes. And at the moment I don't really want to think.

Drama, drama: I had dinner tonight with Paris and one of her friends. The friend asked Paris is she and Silver were gonna live together again next year (they're both gonna take at least another year to graduate). Paris said she thought so. Heh. I know for a fact that Silver doesn't want to live with her anymore, and has already started making other plans. Well. Maybe if Paris got her head out of her ass, and realized that the world doesn't revolve around her, and that Sil and I aren't her maids... Anyway, it will be interesting when they do finally talk about it. I hope to be as far away as possible.

My foot has been bugging me all week. I think it's the weather or something. I don't think it healed correctly after I sprained my ankle last January. (Hey, that was almost exactly a year ago.) I should have gone to the doctor, but I'd sprained the damn thing so many other times that I figured I didn't need to. But I think that I may have actually slightly broken a bone in my foot, too. I can walk, so I really guess I shouldn't complain.

CE is here (of course), and I'm hearing him and Paris make all of these weird noises out in the living room. Aaaaah! It's not that I'm jealous that she has a boyfriend, but sheeeeeeesh, do they ALWAYS have to be HERE?

I wonder if anyone actually reads this thing, anyway? Heh. Since mostly I'm bitching about people I know, it's not like I'd give them the link or anything. So why don't I just write in my normal, offline journal? I guess I must have a little bit of exhibitionist in me after all. :)

-Diana, off to take a shower.

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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