Diana's Diary

2002-04-01 - 10:12 p.m.

Giving It Up

Sometimes, people are like habits. Bad habits that need to be broken. When you find yourself feeling disappointed when the person in question even comes close to doing something right, because then you feel obligated to give them yet another chance, it should be a clue to give it up. That person is obviously not your friend, they are only using you when it is convenient for them. And that is so not worth it for you.

Sometimes, your friends will disappoint you. And while that sucks, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not your friend.

Circumstances play a big part in the difference between those two things.

Sometimes, I think that I just shouldn't expect anything from anyone, because then they can't disappoint me. But that is a very lonely way to live.

Two people who are very important to me disappointed me this weekend. One of those people is a bad habit which needs to be broken, because it is not worth all of the unhappiness this person brings me. "That's just how they are" isn't a valid excuse for this person continually treating me like an afterthought, or an obligation. I'd rather not be thought of at all than be an afterthought. If this person just forgot about me altogether, then maybe I could forget about them, too, you know? The other person who disappointed me is a friend, and I think that the reason he disappointed me this weekend is that he's afraid of disappointing me about something else entirely, and so he chose avoidance instead. Miscommunication sucks.

If it doesn't pertain directly to me, I'm not even going to worry about it anymore. I've got enough on my plate.

I still need to learn how to forgive, though.

-Diana

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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