Diana's Diary

2003-05-10 - 1:42 p.m.

Proof #863

Is it so wrong that I am so very amused by the depths of my own bitchiness?

Perhaps I should go back a little.

On Tuesday, Selena invited me to go up to the city and go clubbing with her on Friday night. After living with her for almost two years, I am wise to her tricks, and know that she would never invite me to do something potentially fun unless she had an ulterior motive. So, being honest, I said, "No thanks. I'm not really much for clubbing."

She replied, "Oh. 'Cause, well, Holden is gonna go, and we were gonna ask Mac if he wanted to go, too."

Me: "Well, thanks for the offer. You guys have fun."

Please note: I said "no" even before she told me about Mac.

Last night, around 8:00, Holden knocked on my door. I was half asleep, trying to get rid of a headache without taking any aspirin. So when I answered the door, my half of the conversation wasn't particularly coherent. Basically, Holden was letting me know that Mac was coming over. (What was he expecting me to do with that information?) Seeing that I was half-asleep, he apologized for waking me up and told me to go back to bed.

I stayed in my room for a while. I heard Mac come in, and heard them all talking. Finally, I figured that it would be at least polite to make an appearance, so I went out for a glass of water.

Holden apologized again for waking me up. I said no worries. He invited me to go out with them. I played it off by saying, "What, so I could fall asleep on the way over?"

Please note that I did not use either of the following responses:

"Why, so you can try to set me up with yout brother again, even though I've made it painfully clear that I have no interest?"

"Why, so I can be the designated driver while you all get hammered?"

Both were in my mind, of course, but I had the presence of mind not to actually say them.

Then Selena said, "No, I already asked her, and she said she wasn't much for dancing."

Thank you, Selena.

Holden (to Mac): "Nah, actually she was gonna come with us until Selena told her you were coming along."

Holden was kidding. But still, a bit too close to the truth. Awkwardness ensued. I attempted to cover by once again honestly stating that I really am not much for clubbing, and probably wouldn't loosen up enough to enjoy myself unless I got drunk, which was not something I wanted to do.

(For the record, Holden and Selena still kind of roll their eyes at my whole not-drinking thing.)

Anyway, Holden and Selena and Mac finally left.

This morning, I asked Holden and Selena if they had fun. They said they did. Selena said that it was kind of "cool" to see Mac drunk, and then proceeded to tell me that he had hooked up with some girl while they were there, and spent most of the night with her.

Selena was quite obviously gauging my reaction to that news.

And I couldn't help myself:

I burst out laughing.

Now, honestly, I wish Mac all of the happiness in the world. As long as it's not with me. But still, the thought of him "hooking up" with anyone really is pretty funny. He's such a dork.

And that, dear friends, is why I am a bitch.

I've known Mac for more than 10 years. I can't help but think that his whole "Rico Suave" personality shift is nothing but a lie to cover up his insecurities. I mean, honestly, I think I'd be a whole lot less annoyed by him if he would just be himself.

(Then there's the part of me that thinks that if he was really as cool as he wants everyone to think he is, then he wouldn't be wasting his time sniffing around me. I mean, not because I'm a huge loser or anything--although I am definitely not as cool as he's pretending to be--but because if he really was this Mac v2.0, you'd think he'd get the hint that I'm not impressed and would just stop already.)

So anyway. Yeah. I laughed at the though of Mac hooking up with anyone, and it makes me feel pretty mean.

And yet, I'm still amused.

Life is weird.

-Diana

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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