Diana's Diary

2001-06-20 - 10:44 p.m.

Awkward

I saw Ex today.

I cannot express how weird it was to physically see him again after four years. And the very weirdest thing about it was that we didn't mention how weird it was at all.

In the past couple of years, I have played out dozens of possible scenarios in my head for how this could have worked. None of them were even close to what happened. What happened was nothing. He said, "Howdy." I said, "Hey." And that was it. No hug, nothing. When JB and I dropped him off tonight, he didn't even say goodbye.

It would have been different if JB hadn't been there. I know that for sure. Being with the two of them together was very, very strange. Apparently one of the reasons why JB's been so busy these last couple of days is that she's been hanging out with Ex. So, she was blowing me off for him. I don't know what's going on between them, but it is definitely something. And I am not particularly happy about that.

I really shouldn't put too much thought into this.

I have to wonder what he thinks of me now. At dinner, I had a margarita. He said he never imagined that I would ever drink. Hah. Showed him. JB enjoyed regaling him with "Drunken Diana" stories. She neglected to mention, of course, that she was always waaay more wasted than I was. I think the big shock for Ex was the smoking thing. Okay. In my entire life, I've had about two puffs of a cigarette. (I was drinking with Mil. He took the cigarette away from me when I started to cough.) However, I have smoked cloves. I only smoke cloves when I'm with JB, and JB likes to make jokes about me being a chain smoker. But still, in the last two years, I've probably had less than an entire pack of cloves. But, still. He never thought I'd do even that. I'm not a goody-goody. Then again, I never really was.

I think Ex always wanted to make me out as more naive than I really am. In his head, he was the worldly experienced one, and I was the bookish smarty one with no real-life experience.

If only he knew all the things that I've seen.

Granted, he knows a lot. We were together for over two years, and I confided in him during that time. But there are still things that he doesn't know. He never knew me as well as he thought he did.

The whole night was just strange. JB is leaving tomorrow for the weekend to go to Cape Cod.

We shall see if I hear from Ex again. He goes back to England on Monday.

I will not be holding my breath.

I have to go to work tomorrow. First day of the new job.

And I am tired.

-Diana

previous | next

�
2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

�