Diana's Diary

2001-08-04 - 3:15 p.m. EDT

Strong Enough

Okay, so a couple of days without updates. Busy times. On Wednesday, I sort of embarrassed myself in front of "my engineer." Nothing huge, I just need to remember in the future to slow down and not try to speak after sprinting up a flight of stairs.

Wednesday and Thursday's meetings went well, which I am sooooo grateful for. Everyone at the hotel was super-nice and helpful, which made my job a lot easier. After the last meeting on Thursday, Ebie, Martine and I went out for the post-meeting dissection. Oh my goodness. Some of these engineers are wacky. Ebie and Martine both picked out their "meeting boyfriends," which was funny and kind of cute. For the record, Ebie thinks "my engineer" is sort of weird, and Martine thinks that I should have picked him as my "meeting boyfriend." Heh. I, of course, neglected to mention my crush.

We had dinner at this little tapas place on Newbury Street, with lots of sangria. I've come to the conclusion that Ebie is a lightweight. Either that, or she's an alcoholic, but I think she's just a lightweight. Dinner was great, or as Ebie kept saying, "You guys, this is soooooooo much fun!" (She was in the middle of what I refer to as the "I love you, man!" stage of drunkenness.) Ebie and Martine had lots of stories to share about these kooky engineers and their lack of social skills. (Why would you feel the need to share the fact that you sleep in the nude with someone you barely know? Talk about a non-sequiter!) Maybe it was the sangria, maybe it was the stories, but I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time.

Yesterday (Friday) I went to see Soshe. Yay! I actually only got back here to Boston about half an hour ago. It's so weird. It's weird because it wasn't weird. It was more like it had only been a couple of weeks since I'd seen Soshe, not nine years. That, right there, is the number one benefit of e-mail. Staying in touch is a good thing.

Soshe and I drove all around town. I'm amazed at how well I remembered the geography. We'd get somewhere and I'd be like, "That's where X happened," and Soshe would be like, "I had totally forgotten about that!" It was so fun.

It was, however, kind of odd staying at Soshe's house. That was the first time I'd ever spent the night there. When we were little, Soshe was almost never allowed to have friends over, because (as I later learned) her father was/is abusive. He was sweet as pie to me, though. He always like me because I'm a "nice girl." (Ugh.) He told me how proud he was of me that I'd graduated from UCLA and already had a job and was a "big important businesswoman," even though I would always be a little girl to him. Actually, I think part of that was a dig at Soshe, who is temporarily working in a grocery store until she finds a job in her field.

Anway, her dad said to me, "Do you remember what I told you girls back when you swam across the lake?" I said no--after all, that particular incidednt was 10 years ago. He said, "Strong girls make strong women."

WTF? That's been in the back of my mind ever since he said it. What does he mean? It sounds like he was complimenting me for growing into a strong woman--but knowing now what he did to Soshe...by beating her, he was tyring to keep her weak, under his control. In reality, it only made Soshe stronger, because now she knows that she deserves better than that, and she will stand up for herself, even against him. I don't know. So is he a misogynist who is pretending to respect strong women, or is it something else? I know that whatever interpretation I come away with will almost definitely not be what he intended. Soshe has admitted to me that she is like her fatehr in so many ways that it scares her--but Soshe tried to channel her energies into something more positive. I don't know. It just seemed like a very odd thing for him to say to me.

Seeing Soshe's "little" brother again was weird, too. Last time I saw Boomer, he was seven. Noe he's 16, so tall--cute, you know. But I remember him as a little kid, when he smiled all the time. I didn't see him crack a smile the entire time I was there. Soshe says that Boomer is painfully shy, but I don't think that's the whole story. It has to be miserable living in that house, and he's too quiet to speak up for himself. Poor kid. It makes me so mad. I remember how my own father adored Boomer--Dad's the one who gave him the nickname "Boomer," in fact. My Dad loved Boomer, and Boomer got stuck wioth an asshole father who liked to beat up his mom and his sister. Ugh. I don't know. Soshe always says that she doesn't want people to pity her, she wants them to learn from her. I guess I have. Soshe is a strong woman.

On a suckier note, I sprained my ankle on Friday night. What is this, 6 times now? Sheesh. Gravel driveway=bad! I'm all stiff and swollen.

So now I'm back in my hotel suite, munching on the chocolate-covered strawberries and drinking the Bailey's that Ebie had sent to my room as a thank-you. (That's really sweet of Ebie. It's nice to know I'm appreciated.) Heh. Although, with all of the wine, sangria, and now the Bailey's, I have to wonder about Ebie. She wants to turn me into a hardcore drinkin' gal.

And you know what? I think that's it from Boston. Next time I write, I'll be back where the sun sets into the ocean, instead of rising from it.

-Diana, signing off

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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