Diana's Diary

2001-10-08 - 6:30 p.m.

Sister, Sister

I talked to my sister last night.

Nnnrr.

Everything will be going along fine, we'll be enjoying talking to each other, and then she'll just say something that she knows will piss me off.

She was telling me about how she was finally out of credit card debt, after three years. I'm happy for her, and glad that she's finally starting to take some responsibility. I said that I was happy for her, but left out the whole responsibility angle because I didn't want to piss her off. I said something to the effect of, "It's nice not to have to worry about that anymore, isn't it?"

Out of nowhere, she comes out with, "Well, I didn't get as much help from Mom and Dad as you did."

Excuse me?!?!

She's so glad to be "completely out of debt," even though she still owes our mother something like $3000. Because Sis knows Mom won't send anyone over to break her thumbs, she's conveniently forgotten about that three grand.

I don't owe Mom anything (money-wise).

Yes, Mom helped support me when I was still in school. But my parents helped support Sis for her first four years of college, too. It was only when Sis decided to take a fifth year that our parents told her that she was on her own. But the fact that Mom supported me the whole time pisses Sis off, even though we had support for exactly the same period of time.

I worked during all of my school breaks. Sis worked didn't work during breaks, but she did work during her fourth year. I'd say that at least cancels each other out.

I lived in Mom's house for 74 days after I graduated. I did not pay any rent at her house (I was still paying rent for the apartment in L.A). But I worked that entire time, did my own grocery shopping, cooked for both Mom and I...and I helped clean and prepare that damn house to go on sale. I'm still having to go down there twice a week to check up on things. I'd say I earned a place to sleep.

In the 74 days after my sister graduated (and the 74 after that), Sis...sat on the couch and watched cartoons. Bought stuff on eBay. Begged Mom for money. Which Mom gave her.

And I got more help?

But there's no point in saying any of that to Sis.. Gah. I know that she's full of shit, but if I tell her that, then it only starts a fight, and I am really tired of fighting with her. It's not worth it. I resent the fact that she always tries to make me feel bad about something, but I think that the more I let her know how much it upsets me, the more she'll do it.

(Perish forbid she interpret my silence as agreeing with her, though. I don't. Gah.)

She's jealous. I think Sis thinks that if I wasn't around, her life would be wonderful. Because I'm always treated as the favorite. (This, I will grant her, has a grain of truth to it. Our grandmother most definitely does play favorites. But what Sis doesn't get is that maybe our family is a bit nicer to me because I'm nicer to them. I actually call them on their birthdays and do things for them and make an effort to stay in touch. Sis ignores them until Christmas rolls around, and then only shows up to collect her loot. Who can blame them for being a bit nicer to me? But Sis seems to think that every nice thing that I do is either an effort to kiss up, or an effort to make her look bad. Give me a break. As if I would waste my time for either of those reasons.)

I love my sister, I really do, and I'm trying very hard to not let her get to me, because I know she's only like this because she's unhappy...but it's hard.

The weird thing is, we always got along really well when we were younger. She's three years older than I am, which was a pretty good age spread. It wasn't until she left for college that the friction started...she says that it's because I turned into a bitch (but I was always a bitch), while I maintain that it's because once she got away from our parents she let her selfish nature take over.

It's probably a little bit of both.

Maybe I'm making too much of this. We talked for over an hour, and had a nice talk. This little thing was really only about 2 minutes of the whole thing. It's just that those two minutes kind of mar the rest of it.

Sigh.

-Diana, signing off

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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