Diana's Diary

2001-10-16 - 5:41 p.m.

High-Maintenance, Taken-For-Granted Reflections

My first two years of college, I piled on the classes and took all of these extra units so that during my last two years, I got to take it easy. I had all of this free time, which was great.

I can't do that with work. Sigh.

I'm getting a weird vibe at work. I think it's mostly me, but I don't know. Yesterday, for no reason I can discern, our office manager asked me, "Do you like working here?" My answer was that yes, I do, but that last week had been stressful. Plus, with all of the layoffs in the telecom industry at the moment...all I can say is "eep!" Another one of our engineers was laid off today. Which sucks, because she was awesome.

Then there are the office politics. It may be that the people at work that I have the most fun with may not necessarily be the best for my career...the behavior of your friends reflects on you and all that nonsense.

Speaking of which...I've been contacted and asked to give a reference for JB. The questions are really...I don't know. I'm asked to rate her on her integrity and dependabilty (among other things). I have no idea how to answer. I mean, I'm fairly sure that the way she would act at a job would not be the same way she acts around me. (So no, I won't be attaching a paragraph about that drunken hissy fit she had in Chico...) But the problem is--and this has been annoying me more and more of late--JB takes me for granted. Almost completely. I can't depend on her at all. I'm her "best friend," and I'll "understand," so she doesn't have to make any effort towards me. Hello! You know, if she'd return my phone calls within three days (or before I have to call her again), that would make a huge difference. She always explains that she is sooooo busy....fine, so am I, but that doesn't mean I don't have a half hour to go grab dinner or something. And then I find out later on that she apparently has time for other people, like Cam (!!!), but not me. What the hell is that all about?

Well, it's because I'm the "reliable" one. I'm always there when she really needs me.

Maybe I shouldn't be...

I don' t know.

If I go on about this too much, I'm just going to end up writing something competely harsh and inappropriate, so I'll stop now. For the reference, I will just have to be careful that in my quest to be honest, I don't end up being petty instead.

I was invited to this Halloween party that she and Willow are having....and at this point, I don't really even want to go. Well. Let me qualify that. I do want to go out and party and have a good time, but I really wish someone else was hosting the thing.

I think that one of my New Year's Resolutions for 2002 is going to be that I need to be more high-maintenance. Then maybe people would stop taking me for granted.

Hmm. Maybe I'm high-maintenance now, but I just don't bitch enough to the right people.

Food for thought, at any rate.

-Diana, signing off

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2003-12-16 - Ow! My Nose!
2003-12-15 - 'Tis the Season...For Moving
2003-11-17 - Rush, Rush
2003-11-03 - Apartment Hunting Sucks
2003-10-22 - Apparently, "nauseated" is a good look for me.

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